Jar of Jam

To the question, What Do You Do? 
 , I answered... "I am - 

 ..preserving my love for you
 in a jar, that's right, a jar of jam
 jammed is my ability to continue
 to continue without seeing you

 how long will this jar of jam
 hold up, how long will I hold on
 to the idea of you as a possibility
 the thought of you an opportunity

 an opportunity to escape
 the jam of life, the jar
 I find myself encapsulated in
 with a tight lid on, sealed

 living in preservation
 is no less than conservation
 conserved, preserved, encapsulated
 is my soul beneath the matter

 what is the matter with me
 you would ask, no you wouldn't
 because you haven't reached the end
 the end of that road I've taken

 a dead-end street but broader
 or neverending road of agony
 when you admonish me coldheartedly
 with silence and indifference

 setting the jar aside, away
 in the basement of your heart
 or not even; in the container park
 untouched but not so empty

 not empty, full of fruit
 and sugar, of lemon zest
 and other substance, and
 cardamon and cloves…

 to waste my matter goes
 unspotted and untouched
 like a mysterious, foreign object
 unknown to regions of your taste."

---